Shallow waters ahoy!

So we’re planning this wedding. I had a good weekend up at Mom’s, talking to vendors about the wedding, getting a few locked down, and getting advice on others. So far, so good. I’ll have to post bits about them later. Suffice it to say right now that the weekend was a rousing success and much was accomplished.

I’ve started reading quite a few wedding blogs since this whole thing kicked into high gear. Offbeat Bride was one of the first, because, and I’ll admit it, I’d been reading it before I proposed to Jared. It’s a kickass site, no matter if you’re way off the traditional path, or like us, toeing the line between “normal” and “funky”. Jared keeps looking at me when I ask him for opinions, but it’s because I want this to be a wedding that reflects us both, not just me. The day is about US getting married, not about “ME ME ME OMG PRETTY PRINCESS!”

I’ve been watching a show when I’ve been at home during the day (those few times), and it’s a total guilty pleasure: Say Yes to the Dress. For those that don’t know, a bridal salon has brides come in looking for that perfect dress for the big day. The budgets for the dresses are usually more than the budget for our wedding, but hey, it’s their wedding not mine. So I get to watch the brides try on dress after dress and finally pick one that they love.

Today, though, I saw two repeats that made me have my jaw sit on the floor. Two brides were, well, I couldn’t believe them. One was assuming her budget was $10k and that her grandmother would buy the dress for her. Grandmother, on the other hand, was saying “I said I’d pay for the dress, but are you kidding me?” Guess who got her way? Yep, the princess. The other bride came with her fiance, and proceeded to go for the over the top dresses. Hey, if that’s you and your guy, go for it. But she could not seem to grasp something called a “budget”. In her mind, as long as she was happy, that was all that mattered and he should just pay for the dress already.

Contrast this with another bride on one of the shows today. She wanted simple understated elegance, and balked at a dress that was stunning on her, just because of the price tag. Her family was with her, and they all agreed she was a vision in it, and by god, they’d help her get that dress. She didn’t want to be a bother, and you could see she was overwhelmed and touched by the love of her family for her in wanting to make that day perfect for her and her husband to be.

I just couldn’t imagine looking at Jared and my family and saying “Okay, this is how it’s going to be, and it’s all about MEEEEEE!” Both of the ladies that made my jaw hit the floor were completely self absorbed. Anyone else’s feelings, including the men that were going to be their husbands, was completely and very distantly secondary to their wishes. I just can’t fathom being that shallow in all of this. Have I told my seamstress that I want to look and feel pretty? Yep, sure have. But I’ve also said I’m going to need something to calm me down before I go down the aisle, because I’m so thrilled to be marrying him. Honestly, at this point, I could wear jeans and a tee shirt and be thrilled to say “I do” to him. Because, in the long run, it’s about him and I getting married, and our friends and families celebrating that desire to become a family with us.

So if you hear a “pop” from my direction, I’ve prolly had my brain explode over someone else doing the “OMG it’s all about MEEEEEE!” song-and-dance. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine right after I go tell Jared how much I can’t wait to marry him for the 40th time, and have him pat me on the head, confused but happy.