There’s also our friends, some of whom went above and beyond friendship with their love and support. There’s the ones that we suckered, um, “asked nicely” to stand up with us as we did this whole “getting married” thing, both of whom I’ve know for what feels like forever and I couldn’t be happier that they said yes. There’s the ones that wished they could be here today and couldn’t make it, and are probably muttering right now about the unfairness of it all (I’m thinking of you, Melissa!). There’s so many that came and showed us how much we are both loved, that it’s a little humbling. No, a lot humbling.

But there’s also another group that I would like to thank today, one that, had they not been around, this whole thing might have never happened. And here they are in some vague sense of order:

Sony Online Entertainment, Sony Computer Entertainment America, Square Enix, Blizzard Entertainment, Bioware, Lucas Arts, Lucas Film, Rumiko Takahashi, Sunrise (a division of Namco Bandai), xkcd webcomic, Jeanie Breedan, Logitech, Razr, Earthlink, Comcast, Charter Communications, AT&T, Ferran’s Hope server, Doomhammer server, Black Rose Society, Kin of the Phoenix, Endurance, The Applesauce Gang, the WoW Bloggers chat room, Ventrilo, Northwest Airlines, Dragoncon, Microsoft and Apple Computers.

Honestly, thank you all.

Unlike some of the people in my age group, I actually really do still get excited about my birthday. What can I say: it’s the little kid in me getting all “eeee!” And while trying to go to sleep last night, I started thinking about why that is, and I think I know why.

Invariably, when I was growing up, my birthday got screwed over, and I’m always hoping that the next one won’t be.

My birthday, being towards the end of the school year, meant it usually got lost in the mess of studying, test, and general “Nooo! Want to go outside and play cos it’s SPRING!” (Mom and the teachers used to agree: I had the worst case of “spring-itus” they’d ever seen. Very similar to the high school “senior-itus” only with less sass.) So instead of it being forgotten (which it was one year and boy that hurt like hell, sweet 16 my ass), it was always kind of an afterthought. Which sometimes, being an afterthought is worse than it being totally forgotten.

I’ve gotten resigned over the years, but it still sucks. And then there’s this year. One of those “life moment” years. Yep, I’m turning… ::sigh:: 40. And yeah, I’m not exactly thrilled about it. I mean, I just got 39 to come out of my mouth without choking on it. Trying to say 40 causes physical pain. I’ve finally hit the point in life where someone can get “cute” and send me a black balloon with “OMG you’re 40!” on it. So help me, the first person that does is getting the balloon back with stab marks in it.

Yep, I’m a grumpy one this year. But I think I might have solved part of this issue. Tomorrow, I will turn 39 for the second time. No, I’m not going to hold on to 39 forever. Thursday, I’ll most likely be saying “Yep, just turned ::gag:: 40.” But for tomorrow, just to take the sting out of it, I’ll be 39 one more time.

Now I just hope the actual birthday doesn’t suck.

As far as what the invitations look like, at some point next week, I’ll post some pictures. I’m fairly pleased with how they turned out, after what seemed like 3 months of wrangling with designs and ideas.

In other “left the building” news, it’s not like we’ve been hiding the fact that we’re not really playing any MMOs lately, but it’s true, we aren’t. I don’t know about Jared, but I’ve canceled LoTRO. I’ve not played it since January, and as much as I was fond of it, it just didn’t grab me in the same way that WoW did. Ensidia’s Muqq’s put out his “I’m leaving” post recently, and after reading it, I kinda have to agree with quite a large chunk of what he was saying. There were several reasons Jared and I left WoW, and some of them dovetailed with Muqq’s reasons, and some of them are our own. Are we ever going back? I’m not sure. I think if a large chunk of the guild we were in came back, we’d seriously consider it. But right now, we’re both looking forward: him to Star Wars: The Old Republic and me to SWTOR and Final Fantasy XIV.

But we’re both still gaming. Jared’s been working his way through more Dragon Age: Origins, as well as Madden and NCAA football. I’ve been slowly working through Final Fantasy XIII, DA:O:Awakenings, and knitting. And then there’s all the wedding planning, which I think is starting to slow down in the “need to think about NAO!” column, thank the stars.

This weekend, it’s a trip to Atlanta to visit with friends and hit up the Georgia Renaissance Festival. Back when I was more involved in ren faire culture, this was my “home faire” and I love it. Right now, I’m just praying it doesn’t rain, or at least holds off til we get into the car to leave the fairegrounds on Saturday. Pleaaaaase don’t rain! On the plus side, it’s Highland Fling Weekend. That means Border Collies herding sheep. That also means Scotsmen. And that means men in kilts. Aw yeahhhh.

After the March trip to Oxford, multiple emails with printers, vendors, and more phone calls than I care to think of, I’ve finally gotten most of the wedding at least outlined, if not nailed down. This weekend is yet another trip to Oxford, this time for hair/makeup trial and picking out rental stuff. When I get back, it’s going to be a flurry of putting invitations together and getting them in the mail. Next weekend is a trip to Atlanta to see friends and hit the Ren Faire. And the weekend after that, I’ll be passed out in my office at work, wondering how I lived through April.

On the positive side of things, I had my bridal shower this past weekend! I wasn’t planning on having one, but my mom’s business partner asked if she could host one for me. I said yes, and even if it was small, we had fun!

Barbaree (on the left) was a wonderful hostess, and I had a grand time. I still need to beg her for her chicken crepes recipe, cos it kicked butt. There was a lot of laughter from everyone that came, which is what I wanted for the shower and what I want for the wedding. Fortunately, none of it was at my expense. And I think the mimosas she handed us all when we came in helped get the giggling started. ::grin::

And now, to relieve a little more stress, I’m going to go back to knitting on my new project. Hopefully, when I’m back next week, I post a little on the knitting front. /wanders off

Part of their site is a huge community of readers and the ladies who write the site, all chatting and sharing info, projects, news, etc. I’ve had a good time joining in, and I’ve found a few projects on there that would be easy enough to do for the wedding, and thus save money along the way. They also allow you to put up pictures of you’re doing for your wedding, and I posted the Save The Date cards, because, well, I thought they were cute/awesome, and apparently everyone that got them thought so too, from the reactions I’m getting.

Apparently Weddingbee thought so too, cos today, for the Gallery of the Day picture, where they go tromping through the pictures uploaded to the site and pick one to show off, they picked mine!

Eee! I feel so proud! And wish my handwriting had been better. ><

After a really good Friday (lots of little things that all either popped up in a good way or things that resolved themselves in a good way), I was looking forward to the weekend. Well, except for the one bad thing about Friday: Jared was sick. Thursday at lunch he was fine. By the time I got home, he was coughing and not sounding the best. By the time I went to bed, it was full on congestion in the lungs and misery for him. He ended up waking me up at 6am looking for a thermometer. Once we found it and he used it, it was over 101 degrees. :/ So he called in sick and stayed home while I went to work.

By the time I got home on Friday, he was still DOA on the couch, so I made sure he was okay, then off I went to upstairs to eat supper and pop a vitamin (hey, just in case!) Saturday started off better. He wasn’t quite as dead, and I ended up finally finishing the baby blanket for Bre. I did a little running around, hitting the yarn store for the first time in a while and grabbing myself some lunch (and Jared some OJ). Back home, I ended up dragging out the pair of black socks that I’ve been knitting on for forever and actually finished them off as a short-cuff pair of socks. I have enough yarn left over from them to make another pair of short-cuff socks, but I’ll do that later. And to top things off, I finished off the one fingerless mitt that’s been on the needles since Christmas.

Oh yeah, I’m a knitting goddess. /flex (ow)

Today, I actually wove ends in on all of the above projects, divided up some NON-BLACK yarn for yet another pair of socks (this time, I’m gonna try to get them to be higher than just above the ankles like all my other socks!), washed and dried the finished stuff, and have a batch of bagels rising in the kitchen. Jared’s upstairs killing stuff on his PC, and the cats are passed out in the living room.

Tonight, I have plans on making chicken & dumplings (and eating more vitamins), finishing the bagels (and prolly eating one fresh from the oven), and then working on the wedding invitations. Well, working on the invitations unless I get distracted by knitting. >.>

So last night I had a small meltdown. In the course of said meltdown, Pixie got stepped on, the kitchen was completely rummaged to death, missing item from the Kitchenaid grider attachment is still missing, Jared got growled at, Kika got snarled at, and a hood from a kitty litter box which had been no where near said box at the time might have been thrown down some stairs.

Yeah, it wasn’t pretty.

A bunch of stresses all caught up with me at once, with an end result of the above, and then me stomping upstairs to hide in the bedroom, not from anger, but terminal embarrassment from having said meltdown. Jared came up after a while to check on me, and ended up pulling me out of my funk in less than 60 seconds, just by being himself. Yeah, there’s a reason I’m marrying him.

But I found myself talking to Breana today, and experiencing one of those stressors all over again, which cued up /ravrage. No, she didn’t do anything. She was just listening and being a wonderful friend as I was going on about what had happened last night. It was left up to me to get worked up all on my own.

See, I love Offbeat Bride, The Practical Bride, Style Me Pretty and a bunch of other wedding blogs. They all have stunning, fun weddings, beautiful pictures, and some good insights on how to make your wedding personalized to really reflect you and your spouse-to-be. They even have advice on how to avoid wedding envy, deal with family and friends, and be realistic to what YOU want, not what everyone else wants.

When I first started looking at this wedding, the last thing I thought I’d have was stress. I mean, Jared and I aren’t exactly the “50 people in the wedding party” types, with all of it’s attendant stress. Just me, him, someone standing up with each of us, and boom, off to a friendly get-together where friends and family could meet up, laugh, and have a good time. Jared was all for a small wedding, and no organized dancing? Sounds great!. He’s not a “spotlight” person, and that was fine with him. Me? Same thing. I feel uncomfortable with the light pointed at me in a party situation. Instead, I’m happier making sure everyone else is having a good time.

But the stress popped up, from where I least expected it. One large hit pretty early on soured all the plans and hopes for a good week before I could start to shake it off. The end of January came, and I made a trip to Oxford to talk to vendors for the wedding, and had a great time. The lady making the cake is wonderful, the photographer is simply amazing, and the seamstress is perfect. The woman doing my hair and makeup is someone I’ve gone to for a while, and is wonderful as well. But then I got back, and things started to stress out again.

While I was looking at these wedding websites for ideas and advice, something started to happen. I started to, well, not second-guess our choices, cos I’m happy with those choices. I’m not sure what you’d call it. I’d read an article on how the average wedding has gone down from $21,000 to $18,000, and think “Yep, sign of the economy.” It had no relation to MY wedding. We’re doing it for $7k or less, with grateful assistance from my Mom, Dad and stepmother.

But what were the first comments to that article? “Wow! that’s ridiculous! I could never spend that much on our wedding!” “Omg, tell me about it! We’re spending $5k and that’s way too much still!” “You’re spending that much? Wow, that’s unreal. We’re getting friends and family to make most of ours and we’ve only spent $50!” “Well ours is free!”

/cue ravrage (bad words, ahoy!)

Okay, seriously? Fuck you all. This “I’m better than you cos we’re doing [insert gloating item here]” shit has got to friggen stop. I don’t care if you’re not seeing the gloating and smugness. You are coming off as gloating and smug. Your wedding is your wedding. Not mine, not the second person to the right of Detroit, not anyone else’s. How you do your thing is up to you. So if someone has a $50 wedding, if it’s what they want, fantastic. If someone else has a $50,000 wedding, if it’s what THEY want, great! When did it become a fucking competition to be weirder than everyone else, cooler than everyone else, hipper than everyone else, greener than everyone else, AND have the entire thing for LESS than everyone else? That’s great that YOU had soooo many cool and hip people come to your wedding that the photobooth that someone made for you guys was a fucking blast and the internet sees how great it was. And I’m amused that the “in” thing to have at weddings these days is a photobooth. Oh look, you’re so original and hip! Just like the other 400,000 people before you!

HEY INTERNET! YOU ARE NOT A BEAUTIFUL AND UNIQUE SNOWFLAKE! SO GET OVER IT!

/fume

Now then, since that’s out of my system, am I going to continue to look at wedding websites? Sure. I’ve found some cool stuff and had some great ideas from it. Case in point, our wedding rings. I’d have never thought titanium/tungsten if it wasn’t for some couples on Offbeat Bride. Awesome. And the sites as a whole have been great reassuring me that Jared and I -aren’t- weird for wanting something that’s not “traditional” in the strictest sense. Church wedding? So not us. JP? Ain’t nothing wrong with that. Backyard wedding? Hey cool, they had one too. Looks like people had fun at theirs. Awesome. Postcards instead of printed Save The Date cards? Woot! That’s great!

So pictures and a few articles will get looked at. Comments? Not so much. Is it wedding envy? Nope. I’m happy with what Jared and I are doing. It’s what’s right for us. And anyone that wants to sniff and say “Oh, you’re doing -that-?” can go taking a flying leap off a very tall cliff. So there.

I’ve started reading quite a few wedding blogs since this whole thing kicked into high gear. Offbeat Bride was one of the first, because, and I’ll admit it, I’d been reading it before I proposed to Jared. It’s a kickass site, no matter if you’re way off the traditional path, or like us, toeing the line between “normal” and “funky”. Jared keeps looking at me when I ask him for opinions, but it’s because I want this to be a wedding that reflects us both, not just me. The day is about US getting married, not about “ME ME ME OMG PRETTY PRINCESS!”

I’ve been watching a show when I’ve been at home during the day (those few times), and it’s a total guilty pleasure: Say Yes to the Dress. For those that don’t know, a bridal salon has brides come in looking for that perfect dress for the big day. The budgets for the dresses are usually more than the budget for our wedding, but hey, it’s their wedding not mine. So I get to watch the brides try on dress after dress and finally pick one that they love.

Today, though, I saw two repeats that made me have my jaw sit on the floor. Two brides were, well, I couldn’t believe them. One was assuming her budget was $10k and that her grandmother would buy the dress for her. Grandmother, on the other hand, was saying “I said I’d pay for the dress, but are you kidding me?” Guess who got her way? Yep, the princess. The other bride came with her fiance, and proceeded to go for the over the top dresses. Hey, if that’s you and your guy, go for it. But she could not seem to grasp something called a “budget”. In her mind, as long as she was happy, that was all that mattered and he should just pay for the dress already.

Contrast this with another bride on one of the shows today. She wanted simple understated elegance, and balked at a dress that was stunning on her, just because of the price tag. Her family was with her, and they all agreed she was a vision in it, and by god, they’d help her get that dress. She didn’t want to be a bother, and you could see she was overwhelmed and touched by the love of her family for her in wanting to make that day perfect for her and her husband to be.

I just couldn’t imagine looking at Jared and my family and saying “Okay, this is how it’s going to be, and it’s all about MEEEEEE!” Both of the ladies that made my jaw hit the floor were completely self absorbed. Anyone else’s feelings, including the men that were going to be their husbands, was completely and very distantly secondary to their wishes. I just can’t fathom being that shallow in all of this. Have I told my seamstress that I want to look and feel pretty? Yep, sure have. But I’ve also said I’m going to need something to calm me down before I go down the aisle, because I’m so thrilled to be marrying him. Honestly, at this point, I could wear jeans and a tee shirt and be thrilled to say “I do” to him. Because, in the long run, it’s about him and I getting married, and our friends and families celebrating that desire to become a family with us.

So if you hear a “pop” from my direction, I’ve prolly had my brain explode over someone else doing the “OMG it’s all about MEEEEEE!” song-and-dance. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine right after I go tell Jared how much I can’t wait to marry him for the 40th time, and have him pat me on the head, confused but happy.

So I did. A lovely little site called Style Me Pretty has a “create your inspiration board here” section, which I promptly signed up for and started combing through their pics. I could also add in pics I found and added a few things.  So here’s the board I came up with:

Oh yeah, I’m all about the blue. The grey didn’t get represented nearly as well, cos I found a serious lack of pretty pictures with grey. That will be rectified later on.

And now, time to compile numbers and make a rough budget estimate! Whee!

Yep, wedding rings ahoy. There were these sales, and well, we might as well get them NOW as opposed to paying more for them later. Although, with this economy, the sales just might get extended like some others have. in any case, it’s one more thing off the list of “Things To Get For The Wedding”.

So what did we get? Sure, we could have gone the traditional route and gotten (name your color/carat weight here) gold rings. Buuuut, that’s not us. I mean, sure I have my traditional streaks, but that’s not one of them. I’m also not so wild and crazy to do his-and-hers piercings. That’s fine for some, but not us (also, pain? Not a fan of that). We’re just mildly weird. Geeky. Nerds. (NERRRRRRRRRDDDS!) So we went looking around the internet, I showed him my thoughts, he showed me his, and this is what came out: I’m getting a titanium 4mm wide traditional-style band. Not unlike this one:

Simple, understated, and will go nicely with my engagement ring. Perfect! For the inscription, I wanted something more that just our names and the date. It wasn’t quite “us”, and I did some playing around with things, then finally settled on having the following engraved on the inside: Le uivelin, meleth nín. 7/17/10

What on earth is that? “I will always love you, my love. 7/17/10″ in Sindarin, one of the Elvish languages in Lord of the Rings. Yep, I went there. Mwhaha.

But, to be honest, I didn’t start it. Who did? Jared. How? Well, he went looking around the internet and found the ring he wanted. He showed it to me, and after I declared it brilliant and actually kinda perfect for him (yes, dear, you’re really a Sith Lord mhmm now go feed the cats please, Mr. Big Bad and Evil), he asked if I was REALLY okay with it.  I told him that honestly, if it made him happy, I was happy. And you should see the look of glee on his face when he sees this ring…

That’s right… HE went there. ::grin:: Let me introduce you to a black tungsten replica of The One Ring, also known as Jared’s wedding band. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” “Sweetie, it’s actually perfect for you, and honestly, the only thing I care about is that you actually wear one. Now hang on a second, I’m trying to find translations of Sindarin for mine, since you’re going that route.”

No, the wedding isn’t going to be LoTR based. This might just be the only LoTR bit we do. But it’s us. We’re geeks, and proud of it. Hell, we’re planning a honeymoon at a sci-fi/fantasy convention, for crying out loud! So yeah, the rings are “us”, and I can’t wait to see them when they come in.

Now if I can only figure out how to sneak a tiny Prince from Katamari Damacy somewhere into everything… /cackle