A year and a week, final

So there, that was our wedding. I ended up learning several things from planning our wedding. First, I still have the ability to completely surprise my family from time to time. For one thing, I’m the one that proposed to Jared, not the other way around. I even made everyone double-take when I told them that not only did I propose to him, I did it via a webcomic re-purpose but that I’d sent it to him by email (which lead to a whole other set of issues that makes for an amusing tale now, but caused me to freak out then). What can I say? We’re geeks! When we started to really get into the wedding planning, I was told several times at how “together” I was. Not that I’m a complete flake, but that I had so much taken care of that when someone would ask “What about the caterer? Have you thought about that?”, I’d be able to pull out my iPhone, pull up the relevant email thread, and rattle off whatever information they were looking for. A large chunk of my family isn’t used to seeing me in full ”operational” mode, and I think in addition to amusing them, it helped everyone be at ease that weekend. “Problems? Oh check the contingency plan list. I’m sure Amy has something on there for that problem.” And everyone around me being at ease helped me keep calm and collected. Thankfully, while there were wrinkles, no one panicked!

I also learned how much both of our families and all of our friends wanted to help. People that I hadn’t talked to in forever were contacting us to offer support, help, or a friendly ear to vent into over beers. Family kept checking with us to make sure that we -were- getting the wedding we both wanted, not something that we were “making do” with. All of the support and offers of help in a tough economy made me sit back every so often and just be amazed at the love surrounding us. It truly is one thing to say “oh our family and friends are helping” and another to faced with everyone merrily pitching in the day of to make sure you and your soon-to-be-husband are having a wonderful time.

What was surprising was how smoothly everything went, even with the delays and weather. If an issue popped up, it got handled quickly with very little fuss. People hopped on board to help, without being asked. But the most amusing surprise was how the man who rents the pastureland that surrounds my mom’s house found out about the wedding and sent a crew out to bush hog (aka “mow”) the pasture so it would “look good”.

The weather could have mattered and it didn’t. (Personally, I think it was better for being inside, and everyone had a blast.) The delays could have mattered and they didn’t. The budget mattered, and we spent less than I’d been aiming for, so that was total win. What -really- mattered though was what we wanted our day to be, which is what happened: good food, lots of love and laughter, and being surrounded by those who loved us. And in that, we succeeded fantastically.

So now it’s been a year and then some since Jared and I got married. I got asked last week if we’re still in the “honeymoon” phase. I had to think about that for a moment before replying “Yes, and no. Yes, it’s still awesome. Yes, we’re still giggly and goofy with each other. But no, because it’s just like it was before we got married, only better.” I stick by that statement. It’s not better because we went off and got married, but it’s better cos we’re in this together and we know it. In other year, it’s going to be even more awesome. And pretty much, even with the ups and downs that life tosses at us, we still find time to just be with each other, be silly and make each other laugh, mock the cats, and get on with life. I get reminded of just how awesome Jared is on pretty much a daily basis. And really, finding someone to go through this weirdness called life, someone to have your back, make you laugh, hold you when you cry, be there every step of the way, sharing in and increasing the joy while lessening the pain, isn’t that what love and marriage should be about?

A year and a week ago, part 5

Finally it was time. I was shuffled into the other end of the house, and my stepmother loaned me a handkerchief from her family. I had my something old, new, borrowed, and blue. I even had the silver sixpence for the shoe. (Yes, I went and found one on eBay. I’m that dorky. And yes, it was old enough it was silver.) Everyone lined up in the hallway that I used to traipse up and down while visiting my great-grandmother. This time we were going down the hallway into a former bedroom, now library, into a brand new living room to see Jared and I get married. I took Dad’s arm, Karen grinned at me, and off we went.

I remember looking up, seeing Jared, and promptly not making eye contact. It wasn’t nerves. It wasn’t me suddenly freaking out. I’d hit the point where I was either going to start screaming in joy, laughing hysterically in joy, or burst into tears from sheer happiness overload, and I was terribly afraid it was going to be tears if I looked at him. I didn’t dare look at Robin either, although I could sense pleased contentment coming from him and Karen both. Dad gave me over to Jared, and the ceremony, the one we’d not rehearsed at all, just talked over with the JP separately 10 minutes before the wedding, got underway.

Next thing I know, we’re kissing, and heading out the way I came in while everyone is clapping. We stopped mid-hallway, looked at each other, and started grinning like lunatics. More kissing, and I heard two things: clicking from one end of the hall, and giggling “whoops!” from the other. It hit me finally that the giggling was from Karen and Robin following us, seeing us stop, and then them turning around and blocking anyone else from coming down the hall. The clicking got sorted out a minute later when I recognized Brandall, our photographer, fussing at us to quit kissing in the hallway already and come out where she had better light. More laughter from everyone and we obeyed Brandall, heading into the old living room where she was frantically taking pictures.

While Jared and I were off having photos taken, Jim had kicked into Logistics mode again, shuffled everyone out of the new living room and was setting up tables everywhere there was space. By the time Jared and I got back inside from taking pictures with both our families, the house was again transformed. Everyone was busy chatting away with each other, people that had never met were introducing themselves, and there was so much of a good time being had, I had to ask Barbaree, who has hosted many a gathering, if she could point out to people that we had food. Barbaree giggled and rounded everyone up to get them to start in on the food.

Jared and I finally got a plate of food and were able to sit down and eat. Beth, our caterer, did an amazing job, and everyone raved about the food. I was just happy I managed to snag one of the last red velvet cheesecake bites on the table. (Oh man, those are sooo good.) Somewhere in there, we cut the cake and made toasts. Robin’s toast was sweet and loving. Karen’s almost made me burst into tears. (Damn you, wench!) After Karen’s toast, I stood up and read my thank you to everyone, which was actually posted here on our wedding day. I’d thought I could make it through it without crying, but got choked up at one point, before struggling on. I’ve always been one to deal with things by wanting people to laugh, so my thank you to all of the technology and online areas of our lives I figured would get giggles. I wasn’t expecting the room to fall over dying laughing, and I have to admit, I was pleased at the reaction. (Yes, Robin, you could have left in the geeky parts in your toast. ) Jared stood up and for the first time ever, I heard him get choked up. That’s when I almost completely lost it.

After a while, Jared and I looked at each other and agreed it was time for us to leave. Everyone headed outside, birdseed in hand, and a few minutes later, Jared and I braved the gauntlet, being pelted the whole way. We laughed, got birdseed in uncomfortable places, and raced to the car to head to the hotel. Once in our room, Jared found out that while I might have been coated with birdseed and he didn’t look that bad, at least mine was stuck to hairspray on my head. On his head, it went straight to his scalp, which caused him to swear and me to giggle. Showers were taken, relaxing was had, and just before room service shut down, food was ordered. The day had finally caught up to us late that night and we both found ourselves starving, even though we’d both made efforts to eat that day. Room Service at Inn at Ole Miss? We so love you.

The next day, we met anyone that wanted to come at the Inn’s Sunday brunch buffet. We’d heard it was good, but had no idea until we walked in there how massive it was. You could literally eat your way from cereal and toast, through pancakes and omelets (made to order), into prime rib, catfish, and mounds of fried chicken and everything in between. Just an amazing amount and variety of food. And don’t even get me started on the desserts. My god, the eclairs were killer. I had 3 and really wished that I’d been able to walk out with a dozen more.

But the best part wasn’t the food, although it was awesome. It was being able to see family and friends one last time before they headed out for home. Once we said our goodbyes to everyone, we headed back to Mom’s, packed up the remainder of our stuff, and then headed for home ourselves.

A year and a week ago, part 4

After hair and makeup, it was back to the hotel for Karen and I. Mike and Heather raced off to their hotel to get ready, and I just relaxed in my room for a while. One of the guests, Barbaree, who’s a good friend of Mom’s and was her business partner for a time, had offered to do a meet and greet in her hotel suite for people before the wedding. Right around noon, I wandered down to her suite and the party got started. Guests that were coming in that day hit Barbaree’s party and I got to see some people I’d not seen in years before the wedding. People cycled in and out, snacks were munched, and everyone had a great time.

Then it was time for Karen, Robin and I to head out to the house for pictures. Jared was already there and I could see what looked like him and Brandall, our photographer, out on the front porch taking pictures already. There was a bit of hilarity as Mike and Heather went zipping up the drive ahead of us to get Jared to go hide so I could slip in unseen, then his picture taking resumed. ::grin::

Since that morning, the florist had come by and decorated the house, the cake had been set up, and The Logistics Crew had managed to make furniture vanish and set up for a wedding inside the house. I was stunned at everything they had done and amazed at how wonderful it all looked. I got shuffled into Mom’s room at the back of the house to change, and then the waiting began.

That’s the one thing I’d forgotten about weddings, having been bridesmaid for two friends of mine: the waiting. The good thing about the waiting is that I had time to relax. The bad thing about the waiting is I was ready to GET THIS DONE! Not in a “My god! Can this go on any LONGER?!” way. but a “EEEEEEE! HAPPY!” kinda way.

Once upon a bad time ago, back when Jared and I were friends and I was going through a Very Bad Breakup With Another Guy, I’d commented on a blog that I apparently had issues with commitment. That I said I wanted it, but the second it looked like I’d be staying for the rest of my life, I’d panic. And that most likely on my wedding day to whatever guy I married, I’d not be racing around in a panic over various aspects of the wedding. I’d not be impatiently standing there asking if we can get this over with already and this had better be worth it. I’d most likely be curled into a ball, rocking back and forth in a corner, going “It’s okay, you love him, you know you love him,” while various people tried to reassure me that I would live.

It turned out I was completely wrong. Well, I wouldn’t have been wrong with the prediction if it had been with Guy From Very Bad Breakup. But the prediction was completely off when faced with The Right Guy. Jared kinda blew that scenario out the water. The best I was hoping for that afternoon was to A. not fall over giggling from being insanely happy during the ceremony and B. not start randomly dancing with everyone, again from being insanely happy.

Karen made sure my veil was pinned in place, and then she got pulled out to have pictures taken with Jared and Robin. Heather was still being my own personal paparazzi, and taking pictures of me and the house. We’d managed to beg/con Mike into being an usher (“What do I do?!” “If they’re female, escort them to a chair, otherwise, stand there and smile.” “Oh, okay, I can do that!”). One of Mom’s employees had been begged/conned into hitting the pause button on the iMac’s remote for the playlist for the pre/post wedding. The caterer was running late, but coming. Same for the JP. There had been a power outage in town that was wreaking havoc with everyone’s time tables. And me? I didn’t care. I was just happy.

At one point between photos, Mom giving tours of the house, me calling various people, etc., it was just Heather and I in Mom’s room. I slipped off my shoes, and went over to the mirror in Mom’s closet and finally just looked at myself. The dress that had been made for me. The necklace Karen had made for me. The veil. The shoes nearby. The flowers. The… holy crap. It finally hit me, not unlike a wall falling and smacking me on the head. Heather made an alarmed noise and went for the tissues, while I stood there, looking stunned and trying to not cry. And at the same time, still smiling and still giddy with excitement.

A year and a week ago, part 3

The actual day of the wedding, I woke up to rain. Lots of rain. Like “Who the hell opened the skies?!” rain. My reaction? “::blinkshrug::” It simply didn’t matter. Sure we were supposed to be having an outdoor wedding that afternoon. Sure it was ripping rain. But it was okay. Something would make everything better and we’d be fine. It didn’t matter cos Jared and I would still get married and that’s all that mattered. I’d posted to Facebook somewhere that morning and Jared’s mom had commented that she and Jared’s dad had rain on their wedding day, and that it was supposed to be good luck. That she wished us the happiness that she and Jared’s dad had. I beamed at that, and went about getting ready for the third trip in three days to the salon.

Mom had come to get me and Karen from the hotel. Heather and Mike, more friends of ours, followed us from the hotel to the salon. Heather is a wonderful photographer and was taking pictures that the photographer we’d hired wasn’t getting, like Karen and I getting made up at the salon. I love her for slogging through the rain with us that morning, cos while I have the memories in my head, the photos she took were a wonderful reminder. And I love Mike for driving her around.

The salon was rather amused when we all showed up. Cindy got to work on my hair and Jordan started in on Karen. At some point, they asked what energy drink I was sipping from the water bottle that I kept passing over to Karen, and I grinned. “32 ounces of champaign and orange juice.” “You put 32 ounces of Mimosa into a water bottle?!” “Yep!” “That’s so AWESOME!” Yeah, there’s a reason I go to that salon, other than they do great hair.

But the big question that kept cropping up was “It’s raining cats and dogs out there. You’re having an outdoor wedding today. What on earth are you going to do?!” I smiled and shrugged and then said that Mom had said when she left the house, Jared, Gail (one of Mom’s best friends), and Jim (Mom’s general contractor for the house addition and by now a good friend) were all at the house and discussing how to rearrange the inside of the house to set up for a wedding. “The Logistics Crew has it under control. I have complete faith in them. Besides, I’m getting married to the most awesome guy today. That’s all that matters.” I was in full “bridal zen mode.” I’d planned for issues, made backups, and everything was under control. I’d drive myself insane if I tried to make it “perfect”, so to hell with it and just roll. Everything would be fine in the end.

A year and a week ago, part 2

Friday was busy. Little bits of running around, family and friends starting to roll into town, oh and we had that whole rehearsal thing and dinner too! No problem! In between all of the other stuff, I again grabbed Karen and we zipped back off to the salon. This time, it was for manicures and pedicures, my one totally unnecessary but by god scheduled girly moment. Did we need them? Nope. Did I want them? Hell yes! I don’t get to indulge the girly side of me often, but I enjoyed the hell out of it, and Karen did too. Mani/pedis done, we went back to her hotel room, got her and Robin’s stuff moved to another room (the AC was on the fritz in their room), got me checked into the hotel, and managed to make it to the rehearsal dinner only 30 minutes late. ^^;

The whole time leading up to the wedding, we’d been watching the weather forecasts. It had gone from “hot and partly cloudy” to “eh, might be rain.” But by Wednesday evening, it was “oh yeah, there’s gonna be some raiiiiiin. Oh and it’s going to start Friday!” /facepalm When Karen and I ran up the walkway to Mom’s house for the rehearsal dinner, it was starting to go from “sprinkle” to “raining”. No one in the house seemed to mind, though, cos everyone was chatting and laughing away, saying hi to people they’d not seen in years and introducing themselves to people they hadn’t met yet. Jared’s dad got a good laugh out of me introducing myself to him and asking who he was. I still blame brainfry on my part. Everyone piled on the BBQ we’d gotten for the dinner and the two pies I’d made got demolished. At some point, the Justice of the Peace called and said he’d not be able to make it to the rehearsal, due to his son getting shipped out sooner than he thought, so he was spending one last night with him before he left. We shrugged, said that’s fine, and went back to chatting with everyone. Ceremony? Eh, we’d wing it.

After everyone left, Karen, Robin, Jared, Mom and I talked about what to do about the next day if it was still raining. I still had a bunch of cards to cut out on the paper trimmer and was determined to get them done. Well, right until Karen took them out of my hands and threw me into the car to go with her and Robin to the hotel. Jared stayed at Mom’s, while I was in the suite at the hotel we’d be at the next night. I admit it: I had my superstition/tradition going on. I didn’t want him to see me before the wedding. I also knew I needed to be unplugged from the chaos at the house or I’d be a bundle of nerves. So, hotel for me. And it was good. I was able to de-stress (although I didn’t have that much stress going on, amazingly enough), kick back, and just be in the moment. And I was so relaxed, I got a full night’s sleep. It helped that bed was damned comfortable.

A year and a week ago, part 1

A year and a week ago, Jared and I got married. It was an amazing experience, and while the getting there might have had a few rough spots, the actual day was one of the more awesome days of my life. I promised some people that I’d post about it, and I’m finally getting around to it. Bear with me, cos this might be more than one post long.

Pretty early on in the planning, Jared and I decided to have the wedding at my Mom’s house just outside Oxford, Mississippi. The house had actually been built in the early 1930′s by my great-grandparents, and Mom was in the process of building an addition on to it to expand the living space. She’s ended up being the holder of a lot of the family’s heirlooms, like the dining room set made by a different set of great-grandparents, multiple sets of china, crystal, books, artwork, etc., so more room was good and highly needed. The house sits on 40+ acres that still belongs to the family. From a very young age, I remember this house as being one of the two places that family would gather for special events (mainly holidays), and everyone would be laughing and having a good time, while my great-grandmother would work her magic in the kitchen. Out front, there were hydrangea bushes that would be covered with huge blue and occasionally pink blooms. It’s also where Jared first met my Mom, and he’s felt comfortable there. Actually, everyone that’s ever been to the house has felt comfortable there. It’s just got that “vibe” when you get to it that just makes you relax.

So when planning the wedding “theme”, I ended up picking blue for me, grey for Jared, and hydrangeas over everything. We both like older films and he loves the Rat Pack, so we pulled a bit from the past with music choices and my dress. I’m a plus-size bride, but with “substantial assets” up top, and rather than deal with someone deconstructing a traditional wedding dress to deal with said assets, I chose to have a seamstress use a vintage Vogue pattern (V2903) to make something more appropriate for a low-key-ish wedding. I didn’t want white, so we went with a pale silver-grey with accents of blue. Jared didn’t want to sweat to death in what was going to be an outside wedding, so the guys went with suit pants, vests, and long sleeved shirts.

The Matron of Honor, Karen, got renamed “Best Chick”, because while she’s married, she’s not “matronly” and is a whole lot of sassy, which Best Chick fits a lot better. She was told to pick out a dress she looked awesome in. The Best Man, Robin, is Karen’s husband, which was even more fitting in my head, since they have a marriage I love, and I hope ours is just as good as theirs is. The kicker to this is back when I met Jared online with gaming, I’d sucked Karen and Robin into the same game as well. So they’ve known him as long as I have. There were a few phone calls back in the day consisting of me moaning that their plotting to get Jared and I to be more than friends was in retaliation for all the grief that me and some of our other friends had given them, back when they were doing the same dance Jared and I were doing, and Karen and Robin’s response of evil cackling. Well, more of Karen’s hysterical evil cackling and Robin’s attempts at “Who, us?!” innocence before he dissolved into giggles. Yep, there’s a reason we’re still friends. (Evil twerps.) (Love you.)

Invitations went out, RSVP cards came back, planning was handled and before I knew it, it was time to head to Oxford for the wedding. Jared and I went up early on Wednesday before the wedding, since I wanted us to have some time to relax and not be insanely rushed before the wedding. Mom showed off the freshly completed house addition and we started setting up various things that still needed to be done for the wedding. Karen and Robin arrived Wednesday night and promptly fell over at the hotel.

Thursday, I grabbed Karen and left Jared in her place for Robin and him to have a chance to talk and wander around town getting lost. I’d managed to get Karen in at the local hair salon that I’ve gone to for years in Oxford. Nice thing about small towns in the South, you can call up your regular hair stylist a week before your wedding and say “My Best Chick has a hair emergency. Help!” and they will squeeze you in, giggling the whole time. With Karen’s hair freshly done, we met up with Jared and Robin and took them to lunch at a local Japanese steakhouse. The food was excellent, the chef was a blast, and they got showered with gifts, thanking them for being kind enough to come stand with us. After lunch, we eventually ended up back at Mom’s, and by then my Dad and stepmother, Sue, had shown up. We all chatted for a bit, then Dad and Sue headed for the hotel to check in, while Mom finished fixing supper for Jared, Karen, Robin and I. Bags of birdseed were put together somewhere along the way, and schedules were confirmed for the next couple of days.